Doctors and tests...

I saw my doctor on Tuesday and I just have to say that I really like her and she really knows me. One of the perks of working in a hospital, I guess. As soon as she entered the room, she knew that something was wrong and I told her about my job and memory loss. She said that it could be from either depression or post-concussive syndrome, so I am going for neurocognitive testing to determine which it is. She is also sending me for an MRI next week because I haven't had one in ages.

Then today I had a mammogram and for those who haven't had one, they hurt!! I had felt a nodule in my breast previously and thought it was a good idea to get it checked out. Well, during the test, I couldn't find it. I told the ultrasound tech that the mammogram must have scared it away. Luckily, they didn't find anything. The Radiologist acted like it was bad and I was like "thank you!"

We'll find out more with the upcoming tests.

Becoming unemployed...

Today has been a difficult day for me as I was given the "option" to resign or be terminated from my job. This whole experience this past week has been a tumultuous one. I'm not sure how else to explain it. I was told on Friday that I needed to come up with a "Corrective Action Plan" on how to improve my performance at work. Not being told exactly how my performance was lacking, this has proved to be difficult. I know where my weaknesses were and some examples of things that have happened, but there has never been anything definitely explained to me. I have never written a corrective action plan and therefore did not know how to write one.

I will say that I haven't been happy at work for awhile. I absolutely LOVE the people that I worked with. They are truly wonderful people and I am glad that I had the opportunity to meet and interact with them. I truly feel that I have been done an injustice. Not because I "resigned," but because of the circumstances that led up to it and the lack of direction from my boss. I have on multiple occasions expressed to her my weaknesses and areas that I needed to improve on and the response that I received was talking to me in a demeaning manner and treating me like I was a child and not giving me the respect that I deserved. I also feel that the nurses have tried to help me more than my boss.

My boss once told me that I was going to become a "BSN" nurse and that people would look up to me and respect me more and I had to start acting like it. I so wanted to tell her at that moment that people do not respect you just because you have different letters behind your name or because of a title. People respect you because of the way that you treat them. Being a registered nurse does not demand any more respect than that of the Home Health Aide. I can honestly say that I did not respect her more after she accomplished her BSN.

I was really sad this morning as was the rest of the staff in the office. Everyone was really supportive of me and felt bad that this happened. I honestly feel that everything happens for a reason. When a door is closed, a window is opened. I know that Heavenly Father will be there for me and will not give me any more than I can handle.

I have a few ideas of where to proceed from here. I have really been interested in Legal Nurse Consulting, so that is an option and also travel nursing. My commitments have always kept me from doing travel nursing in the past and now that I no longer have them, it is a good opportunity to try it. I love to travel. Everything will depend on how things go this week. After this week, I will make a decision in which route I want pursue.

I have to go and see my doctor tomorrow. I feel that some of my issues with work were due to some conditions that have been the result of my accident. I have been struggling with severe depression, exhaustion and memory loss. The memory loss is the big one because I know that it has changed who I am. Hopefully, my doctor will be able to give me some guidance on these areas.

I just wanted to thank everyone who has been supportive of me throughout all this. I truly feel blessed.

Fun with photo editor

I've been trying out some photo editors that I have on my computer. Here are three variations of the next photo taken at Johnny Rockets in Daytona Beach, FL. Here is the original.


Here are the photoshop versions:

Two weeks until we leave for Myrtle Beach!

We are excited because there is two weeks until we leave for our vacation to Myrtle Beach, SC. This trip will be lots of fun because we are going in Jamie's new minivan which means that we can take Alex and Isabel too. We (Jamie, mom and I) are going to have a car full of kids, but it should be fun. We are excited about the hotel. It has a full kitchen like Orlando and Wisconsin Dells. That really is the only way to travel with a bunch of kids because you can cook them food. It makes it a lot cheaper! I have never been to Myrtle Beach before and Alex and Isabel have never been to the ocean. It will be neat to see them there. Janette and I started this tradition of every beach we go to, we write the name of the beach and sign our names, so we'll have to do that there as well. Ilana informed me that we have 13 days until we leave (not counting today). We are excited to do something. Yeah! This is our beach writing from Daytona Beach in 2007.



I have pictures of Anakin and Padme and also Ilana giving Anakin his daily hug.