Why did the chicken cross the road?!

I got this in an e-mail and thought it was cute!


Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side.That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one __________________

I am blessed...

I have to say that I would seem very ungrateful if I didn't mention how blessed I feel right now. My mom and I have been concerned about how we are going to heat the house this winter. Well, my grandpa called us this morning and said that he had found this guy on the south side who had a ton of free wood and he spoke to him about it and he would save it for us.

So, my mom called my cousin and he rushed right over there to get it for us. It took two load with his trailer and his brother's truck, but they did this for us willingly. So, needless to say, it has been a good day. Who knew something like wood could make the day so bright. :)

Fingerprinting...and dumb things people do.

I went for my fingerprinting this morning at my local police department and boy, was it an experience. First off, I get there and they go over the instructions and everything and then tell me that I have to go the town hall to pay the fee because they don't accept cash at the police station. No problem, the city hall is just a short walk across the street. So, I get there and proceed to pay. The guy behind the counter doesn't even know how much it is. I have to tell him that it is $10 and give him my twenty dollar bill. Then he says that he is not sure that he can make the change. I was thinking about this and it was quite amusing...it was early and we are talking about a town of about 2,000. Is the city really that broke?

Then I cross the street back to the police station and there is a lady that walks in with me. The officer tells me to wash my hands in the bathroom which he apologizes for. The lady doesn't have an emergency, but the officer, being the only one in the station (remember population 2,000), needs to take care of her first. I'll get to her story later in the blog, because I learned something from it today.

The officer was really nice, but the procedure was extremely messy. I was going to go somewhere after that, but my hands were so inky that it would've been obvious that I had been fingerprinted, but not so obvious as to the reason why. The officer let me wash my hands afterward which didn't help very much, but smeared the ink to the rest of my hands that were clean. Then I got to think about it. Now my fingerprints are in the bathroom at the police station. They don't even have to be dusted because they are ink. I thought it would've been rude to ask the officer "can I have some tape so I can remove my fingerprints from the faucet and soap dispenser?" (Can you tell I've watched CSI) Should I be worried that my fingerprints are left at the police station? Here is what my hands looked like AFTER I washed them. :)





So, then I had to go home and wash my hands with dish soap (which took nearly all of it off, btw) and then get back in the car to go to the post office to mail my fingerprint cards. I noticed at the post office that my hair was shedding a lot today. (Somedays I think I shed more than Anakin, my sheltie!) The only thing I didn't leave in this bantam town is my saliva. I can just see it now...In a small town where you can smell pickle brine in the air...

Okay, now on to the lady in the police station with me. She came in to see if she could get her car back. Apparently she drove around two or three barricades (according to the officer, I guess there are no privacy laws when it comes to police) and her car stalled in the water that flooded the road. Now, the funny part...for me, not for her...is that the officer informed her that she was going to get a ticket for going around the barricades. Apparently that is illegal. Surprise! You not only have to pay to get your car back, but pay a ticket as well. The officer said that there was three feet of water over the road. (Bangor as well as the surrounding counties have been in a flood advisory for days...)

Now, if there was two or three road blocks saying that the road is closed, wouldn't you wonder why? Especially since they aren't doing construction on that road? I saw on the news a car in Chicago (which is also flooded) that was going down the highway and went into a puddle (or lake, more like it) and the CAR WAS COVERED in water. Wouldn't you think that if the water comes up over your hood, you would stop?!? You could see the car with about a foot of water on top of it. All you could see was the hood. I don't know about some people...

Cute test to see if you are "qualified to be a professional"

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional. The questions are NOT that difficult.

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?

Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?

Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

Florida License

I have been contemplating for awhile doing something different this winter. Not because I don't like Michigan winters...I do, to a certain point, but because I am not as tolerant of them as I was before the accident. Anyone who has ever had a broken bone understands what I am talking about.

So, I have been working toward getting my Florida license so I can spend the winter there. Since there are so many snow birds, Florida requires many more nurses in the winter than they do in the summer. I thought that this would be a good springboard into travel nursing.

Well, I've been working on my Florida nursing license and getting a license in another state is not difficult...it just can be frustrating. I have to go and get fingerprinted...again...for the umpteenth time. You would think, as many times as I have been fingerprinted before, that ONE of them would've been in the same system that the Florida Nursing Board uses, but I am not that lucky. Again, not that that is a big deal, but it is frustrating. Hopefully, I will get all that done and then get everything out so that I should get my license by my birthday. That would be awesome!

New Layout and Grandma's Birthday.

Yeah. I finally got the stuff done for my new layout. I like to change my layouts according to the seasons. I really like this one because I love primitive graphics and I love snowmen. That is the one thing that I like better on myspace than on facebook. Individuality. But here's to the new layout.

I also updated my photo with one of my favorite photos that I've taken recently. I love photography and this is a photo of a flower that was in my flower garden and I just love it...maybe because it's kinda blue.

My mom and I went with my grandma today to celebrate her birthday. I think she's 75. (Mom said that she changed her birth certificate so she could work a year earlier and isn't sure what year she was actually born in.) She wanted to go the casino to get her George Foreman Grill. They try anything to lure you in there. Oh well. She got it and had some fun. The people at the casino even sang to her, which was pretty cool. She liked that. So, I guess it was worth the trip. :)

I've been tagged...

I was tagged by Missy. This one is pretty neat though.


A. Attached or single? single

B. Best friend? Janette

C. Cake or pie? If I have to choose, I would say cake, but I'm much more into ice cream.

D. Day of choice? Saturdays

E. Essential item? Toothbrush

F. Favorite color? It used to be green and purple, but now it's turning more into blue.

G. Gummy bears or worms? Gummy bears. (I like the haribo variety too!)

H. Hometown? South Haven

I. Indulgence? Definitely shoes. I don't like to wear them, but I like to buy them. And electronics.

J. January or July? July. I like the warmth.

K. Kids? None.

L. Life isn’t complete without? family.

M. Marriage date? N/A

N. Number of brothers & sisters? 2 sisters and 1 brother

O. Oranges or apples? Oranges...unless caramel is involved.

P. Phobias? I'm borderline claustrophobic. I also don't like spiders or bugs that jump at me.

Q. Quotes? If you have built sandcastles in the air, your work need not be lost; now build foundations underneath them. Henry David Thoreau (That's paraphrasing)

S. Season of choice? My favorite is fall. Not too cold, not to warm...perfect. Plus my birthday is in there.

T. Tag seven peeps! Kara (I'm not sure who even reads this)

U. Unknown fact about me? I'm really pensive. I have to think everything through.

V. Vegetable? Broccoli. I also love zucchini. Anything fresh from the garden. I'm a big fan of salads!

W. Worst habits? Thinking too much. :)

X. X-ray or ultrasound? Neither.

Y. Your favorite food? Cheese.

Z. Zodiac sign? Scorpio.

It's been awhile...

I know that it's been a long time since I have written on here. This summer has been kinda crazy for me. For starters, we were gutting and re-doing some of the room upstairs to put insulation and drywall up. Also working on the yard and trying to get that into some semblance of shape.

We took a trip this summer. We went to the Mall of America and then Wisconsin Dells. It was fun, but tiring. We had a lot of fun. Here are some funny pictures with my new camera. These were taken at the various waterparks that we went too.



Isabel under water.


Alyssa and Ilana under water.


Ilana in her favorite pose.


Water coming down on me out of the bucket.


Isabel and me in the pool.


Riley with my mom.


Ilana coming down the slide. Notice the pose. :)


Isabel and Ilana coming down the slide in a tube.


Alex, Isabel, Ilana and Alyssa coming out of the big slide.



At the Mall of America, the kids went into Nickelodeon Universe and we also went to the underwater adventures aquarium. The aquarium was pretty neat because there were sharks and fish swimming over our heads. Pretty exciting. The mall was huge. It had four floors. I'm not sure if I'll ever want to go there again, but it was definitely worth experiencing.


Us at the underwater adventures. This was first thing in the morning. That is why we look so fresh.


The kids in a photo booth. I just love those!!


Everyone on the turtle.


Alyssa, Isabel (front row), Alex, and Ilana on the roller coaster. (Notice Ilana's pose.)



The kids standing in front of Nickelodeon Universe at the Mall of America.


Other than that, I've mostly been trying to enjoy my time off and get things done. I'm still debating on what my future holds, but we'll see. I'm contemplating going to Florida for the winter and doing seasonal nursing there, but that all depends on what type of therapy I need. I should find that out this week from my insurance company...hopefully. With them, everything is hurry up and wait.